Name: Pearle Tan Ee Zhen | 陈奕棻
Date Of Birth: 29 December 1991
Status : Attached, Engaged.
School(Graduated): TMC Academy
Course: Diploma in Tourism & Hospitality Management
My SweetHeart: ♥ [ Coddy TYS ] ♥
Besti Sis: ♥ [ L-A-P ; P-A-L ] ♥
There no better way that I could rant my thoughts and feel.
Following rants : The Tops
1. CTYS : he is my current guy, I would name him as my current soon to be husband. Among so many r/s I been thru. I don't have such/much secure feeling. Or it might be we are still in the early stage. But I do really hopes we would be a whole, a one. He's 8/10 what a guy I want, no one is perfect, but to me he is near to perfection. I just want to hold on never let go or leave my side even a MSec. I had enough going thru leavers of my close ones. I just wish we would walk down this road smoothly together. But on side track, I would still remind myself not to, till the ROM day arrives. It's not gonna be soon, but one day I hope n definitely hopes it will. I don't wish to find arguments. It hurts. Who know when i am crying? How bad I felt? How lonely I felt? How tiring loving someone who doesn't gives/shows much love? Whenever my emo starts, my thoughts starts, my heartaches here and I'll be tearing, at a place no one could find me no one could see me tear badly. Never. That's when I show how bad I feel how much I need someone, especially the one I loved most. I need most. I want most. My forever most.
2. RLZH : he was the first, who gave me the courage to enter long term r/s. It was so honey-moon for the 2years we had been thru. There ain't much breaking ups. But unsightly, one day, he just got over into other love within split sec. Worst of all, secret was kept in dark for weeks. Till then I've found out. It was all too late for a turn back, it was so hurtful to know the truth. I so wanna hold on, but I know I shouldn't. It will just give us more breaking ground. The feeling of being hidden underneath it's so hurtful yet painful. No ways could describes how it felt. The 2 years have just vanish just over a thing. Thats one thing I couldn't accept and break down much. Making myself like a slut a bitch a whatever people would name a girl. It's stupid, but it didn't last me long. It last only for 2 month at most. Was strong enough brave enough to walk away the road I once hope on. The heartaches. No one would ever understands.
3. J : He was the one would gave me whatever my ex have not given me before. The surprise, the love the care the everything.. He's just too nice to be a Bf. But I know it's all fake, when there he has already had a GF. I had such guys. Too many things had happen between us within 5months. Making him giving up isn't a easy task. I did almost fall in love. But telling myself it will never happens. There's too much NOs I feel. Just feel damn bad, I broke his feeling trice in a month. Till now I still feel guiltily upset. Every once he random texts me. I just so want to block all n not know their beings. But its impossible. The social network of mine, links almost everywhere among them. Sigh!
4. AAJM : he was a guy who's much more childish minded. An incident happened. But I decided to give up. He couldn't give how a guy I want , a confident, successful, planner, decisive, independent, thoughtful, helpful, careful, and mature. But he couldn't gave much of what I want. As day goes by, I've found out a cyst. And undergo surgery. During the moment, much tears dropped. Giving up precious its so not easy, it's so hurtful. It's so unforgettable moment memories. I yet had no choice to give up. It will do us both good. On the side note, Deep thought I know we cannot be one. And will never be.
I can never lived in a life with someone showing me how much he needed me, wants me, loves me, care me, bother me, everything me.. There wouldn't be a day like this for me I guess. Ever since so many incident happened within a year, I told my self, bother less, know lesser, i'll get hurt lesser. And so, I always act I'm ignoring, I know nothing. Trying to not let it hurt me. But sometimes, eventually naturally, it still hurts me when flashes back. I just need one love. Just one, purely one. I don't wanna be greedy. But just a love that would love live w me till day I'm gone...
I truly wish, hope, prays....
The end of my rants... But I still don't feel good thou..
There no better way that I could rant my thoughts and feel.
Following rants : The Tops
1. CTYS : he is my current guy, I would name him as my current soon to be husband. Among so many r/s I been thru. I don't have such/much secure feeling. Or it might be we are still in the early stage. But I do really hopes we would be a whole, a one. He's 8/10 what a guy I want, no one is perfect, but to me he is near to perfection. I just want to hold on never let go or leave my side even a MSec. I had enough going thru leavers of my close ones. I just wish we would walk down this road smoothly together. But on side track, I would still remind myself not to, till the ROM day arrives. It's not gonna be soon, but one day I hope n definitely hopes it will. I don't wish to find arguments. It hurts. Who know when i am crying? How bad I felt? How lonely I felt? How tiring loving someone who doesn't gives/shows much love? Whenever my emo starts, my thoughts starts, my heartaches here and I'll be tearing, at a place no one could find me no one could see me tear badly. Never. That's when I show how bad I feel how much I need someone, especially the one I loved most. I need most. I want most. My forever most.
2. RLZH : he was the first, who gave me the courage to enter long term r/s. It was so honey-moon for the 2years we had been thru. There ain't much breaking ups. But unsightly, one day, he just got over into other love within split sec. Worst of all, secret was kept in dark for weeks. Till then I've found out. It was all too late for a turn back, it was so hurtful to know the truth. I so wanna hold on, but I know I shouldn't. It will just give us more breaking ground. The feeling of being hidden underneath it's so hurtful yet painful. No ways could describes how it felt. The 2 years have just vanish just over a thing. Thats one thing I couldn't accept and break down much. Making myself like a slut a bitch a whatever people would name a girl. It's stupid, but it didn't last me long. It last only for 2 month at most. Was strong enough brave enough to walk away the road I once hope on. The heartaches. No one would ever understands.
3. J : He was the one would gave me whatever my ex have not given me before. The surprise, the love the care the everything.. He's just too nice to be a Bf. But I know it's all fake, when there he has already had a GF. I had such guys. Too many things had happen between us within 5months. Making him giving up isn't a easy task. I did almost fall in love. But telling myself it will never happens. There's too much NOs I feel. Just feel damn bad, I broke his feeling trice in a month. Till now I still feel guiltily upset. Every once he random texts me. I just so want to block all n not know their beings. But its impossible. The social network of mine, links almost everywhere among them. Sigh!
4. AAJM : he was a guy who's much more childish minded. An incident happened. But I decided to give up. He couldn't give how a guy I want , a confident, successful, planner, decisive, independent, thoughtful, helpful, careful, and mature. But he couldn't gave much of what I want. As day goes by, I've found out a cyst. And undergo surgery. During the moment, much tears dropped. Giving up precious its so not easy, it's so hurtful. It's so unforgettable moment memories. I yet had no choice to give up. It will do us both good. On the side note, Deep thought I know we cannot be one. And will never be.
I can never lived in a life with someone showing me how much he needed me, wants me, loves me, care me, bother me, everything me.. There wouldn't be a day like this for me I guess. Ever since so many incident happened within a year, I told my self, bother less, know lesser, i'll get hurt lesser. And so, I always act I'm ignoring, I know nothing. Trying to not let it hurt me. But sometimes, eventually naturally, it still hurts me when flashes back. I just need one love. Just one, purely one. I don't wanna be greedy. But just a love that would love live w me till day I'm gone...
I truly wish, hope, prays....
The end of my rants... But I still don't feel good thou..
JustPearle
Name: Pearle Tan Ee Zhen | 陈奕棻
Date Of Birth: 29 December 1991
Status : Attached, Engaged.
School(Current): TMC Academy
Course: Diploma in Tourism & Hospitality Management
My SweetHeart: ♥ [ Coddy TYS ] ♥
Besti Sis: ♥ [ L-A-P ; P-A-L ] ♥
